Declining desire
Posted on August 19, 2008
Filed Under Sexual |
The sexual desire depends on each person.
It is essential to get an excitement that will cause the enjoyment and orgasm.
The desire depends on many factors, as our culture and personal history, stress, fatigue, difficulties professional rencontres trouble in daily life, availability ….
The lack or decline of desire, situations often difficult to exprimern causes a reduction or total loss of interest in preventing sexual self.
The lack of desire has more to do with women who rarely dare to address this very intimate aspect of their life that is still a taboo issue in the majority of them.“I have no desire” is probably one of the most common phrases that women decide when they consult a sexologist.
This loss of desire moved gradually at the beginning and then eventually enkyster deeper cause for great sadness, sometimes great suffering and a lack of confidence in itself.
It is important to know that a drop of desire may be only transitory: people who live this situation should know that there are solutions, but still must be able to discuss and talk about this subject if intimate.
Do not make love makes some people unhappy, while others gradually forget this intimate part of their lives.
It is essential to understand and accept that it is possible to have sex without having necessarily a sexual act with a penetration: Caresses, cuddles, kisses, tenderness, sharing, love, trust, exchanges are part of … sexuality and are indisociables of desire.
Trying to find the reasons for the decline of desire
When desire settles down, it is essential to understand the mechanisms and causes.
Too many people, women or men, leaving the trainer but were afraid to ask the real questions. “It will return” think the majority of the persons concerned.
This may be true for some couples. But too often, unfortunately, the situation settles insidiously.
Expectations poorly or never expressed may cause the decrease of desire: for example, a woman who is not caressee as she wants and who has never expressed his partner risk little by little not to be desired.
Ignore the problem and adopt the policy of the ostrich, a situation valid in many areas, only backwards and aggravate the problem.
And the more time passes, the more it will be difficult to overcome.
Not knowing guess the desires of the other
A decline in the desire leads to a decrease in the frequency and quality of sex.
The reasons for a drop of desire can be nombreusesElles may be caused by a pressure too great, permanent stress, conflict hardly bearable, overwork, depression, the couple wear, infection, a disease…
The decline of passion
The decline of the passion that inevitably diminishes in a large number of couples over the years is one of the most frequent reasons for the decrease of desire.
Gradually, the excitement is more difficult to obtain making one or both sides dissatisfied.
Frustration, guilt, anger, misunderstanding, can then move gradually.
A status quo in the couple moved more often, the partners or eventually accommodate (or “pretend”) for this situation.
But sometimes also that the issue will become unacceptable for either one or both partners and lead to a separation.
The routine
Make love in the same place in his room more often, the same way can make the routine sexuality and sad and result in loss of desire.
Lack of time
A way of life more stressful, greater workload, a desire to succeed everything we undertake, the proliferation of sports activities, children asking for more time, travel more frequently … lead gradually lack of time to devote to sexuality.
Daring to speak, is already going better: not wasting time:
Do not hesitate to discuss the problem of declining desire, without complacency to deal with well aware that deny or bury risk going unfortunate, less thrived, and to explode the couple.
Do not wait, do not waste time, do not wait months or even years before it is too late to react.
Being able to talk to his or her partner, a doctor, to friends you will save time.
Speaking with his / her partner
The / partner remains the person most concerned: he / she feels anxieties, doubts and immediately realizes that “you do want more of him (or her)”
To force them to make love is not the solution: this attitude may become unbearable and lead to the aggravation of the situation.
Speaking assemblies, expressing his doubts and anxieties can only be beneficial.
Consult your doctor
Feel free to talk with your doctor if you feel confident.
Release your worries, express your fears, and try to exonerate you will save you time.
The consultation with a doctor is an intimate moment during which the issue of sexuality may be addressed.
The doctor can help you eliminate a medical problem (an infection, a disorder of erection for men…)
And do not forget “talk is already going better…”
In discussing forums
In discussions with other people who lived or living this difficulty can help you realize that you are not isolated and alone know these cuts your libido.
On the other hand, and you share your experiences and testimonies.
You can express your fears and perhaps even collect some advice. But be careful, because the forums can sometimes reveal many surprises.
Consult a sexologist
In case you do not pass a tackle this issue head on with your partner, your doctor or friends, do not hesitate to consult a sexologist.
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